Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Finally, another blog (again)!!

here's the beginning.. half revised..

Every great story has a beginning and this is mine. I really guess I can say that this is the beginning of the end, the end of everything.

I never really thought that any of this was possible, or if I did, somewhere in my subconscious, I never thought that it could happen to a village girl like me. Now that I was faced with death, and the death of the only guy I ever truly loved, I realized that it was inevitable; not only that but that my freakish nightmares of the past few months were warning me that this would be our fate. I would die beside the guy that I loved and that our deaths would be slow and painful.

My life had changed forever because of him. Before him, I just felt like I was going to cave in on myself. I felt like I was going to lose myself forever and that my world was going to come crashing around me without anything to stop it. The feeling of helplessness was so unbearable and I could not find any way out; there was one way, which was unthinkable, but I considered it. I knew how bad it would hurt my family and the few friends I had but at the time I thought it was the only way out. It was like this for a long time until he came into my life and changed it forever.

I turned to look at him then. He smiled that smile that I loved so much, and even in the face of death, it lit up his whole face and reached all the way up to his eyes.

“I love you,” he whispered. “I will love you forever.”

“I love you, too,” I replied. “Forever.”

Then he took my hand and we turned to face out fate together knowing that this would see each other in this life. Our lives, which had blended so well together, on earth, were over.


  1. I feel like... I know how the story ends, so why should I read it? (especially since it clearly ends tragically?) D: I think you should consider beginning it differently... or at least being more vague (hint, don't tell.)

    I get that you're following the Twilight model of having a brief little 'introduction' thing where Bella laments the dangerous, traumatic situation she's in-- but I think the difference is, the Twilight ones give a very, very thin slice of what's going on, just enough to make the reader wonder and want to see how it got there. Yours, on the other hand, doesn't comment on the situation; all we know is that some lovers, somewhere, for some reason, are dying tragically-- and what's more, with the final sentences ("knowing...Our lives... were over.") you don't give us any room to hope for escape from this fate.

    Even if there's going to be a sad ending, readers don't want to know that. They want to believe that there's hope, or else they'll just go through the novel like a funeral dirge...

    something to consider.

  2. I like what Lindsey has to say. I could be wrong but there is a lot more that occurs after this scene in the timeline, right?

  3. people, it seems to me, don't understand that this is the first book in the series.. so who knows if elizabeth and josh dies? i for one still have no idea what i am going to do with them.. it might be like twiligt (lizzie since you actually read the books) and there might be more to it after this and then there might not be.. like i said this is a half revised copy, i don't how the book will turn out..