tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063206608641471682.post7164110370197538000..comments2010-08-03T23:56:33.109-05:00Comments on Randomlocity: My favorite chapter (contains spoliers!)Randomlocityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02530250274292103969noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063206608641471682.post-9698747010603125742009-09-17T13:25:10.455-05:002009-09-17T13:25:10.455-05:00Haha. Sometimes insomnia can be helpful that way.....Haha. Sometimes insomnia can be helpful that way...Lindseyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11098873667714904864noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063206608641471682.post-54985801901163841892009-09-16T21:40:39.432-05:002009-09-16T21:40:39.432-05:00You know, when I wrote this I was thinking the sam...You know, when I wrote this I was thinking the same thing, so it's nice to see you agree with me.. lol <br /><br />I have no idea how I came up with this, by the way. It happened at like midnight one night when I couldn't sleep.Randomlocityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02530250274292103969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063206608641471682.post-77913284261272956092009-09-16T21:27:14.890-05:002009-09-16T21:27:14.890-05:00niiiiiiiiiice!
(in a horribly depressing way, of...niiiiiiiiiice! <br /><br />(in a horribly depressing way, of course).<br /><br />the only thing I'd change, I think, (other than the occasional small spelling/grammar mistake), is the pacing. Josh tells this very long, painful story, almost completely uninterrupted... I think a few more pauses of narration, to bring the reader back to the present situation of he and Elizabeth by the pool, and also describe Josh's behavior/tone of voice as he recounts his tale, would help. Like that one time you stop and describe his face-- that was nice. <br /><br />Otherwise, excellent. <3Lindseyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11098873667714904864noreply@blogger.com